Unmotivated

I've decided I want to become a doll. No, I will never become like the statuesque Barbie, Valeria Lukyanova, but I can indeed be a 5'3 90 pound mini doll. Ah, 90 pounds sounds too much, even now.

But even then, I've been unsuccessful in fasting. I will try again tomorrow. I've found several new distractions to help!!
Pinterest gives me food porn, eheheh. While it gives me great motivation and gets my imagination going, I tend to look at the Food Boards and enjoy the gnawing in my stomach. Masochist? I think not!
And it's all for a good cause anyway..
As I write this, I'm waiting for my stupid parents to finish their bullshit shows. Honestly, I've an essay to finish and it's 1:30am. Can you arseholes please go to sleep? It's no wonder I can't fast properly, my sleep cycle is messed up!
I've been neglecting myself terribly. I want to fast throughout the week as my darling and I will be going swimming soon, and talk of swimsuits has been flying around.. I'm far from perfection, but still, it's these little goals that speed up the progression to the main goal. Baby steps, baby steps!

In all honesty I'm disappointed in myself. I'm completely unmotivated despite having all the pieces to the puzzle. I'm doing a terrible job at connecting it all. Tomorrow is a new day and I will do better. I have to.
Also, as soon as I drop to 110 by diet alone, I'm going to start working out again. I miss it. But for now, light walks and other distractions/calorie burners will do.

Can't wait for tomorrow.